i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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