Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
