haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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