I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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