What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
