You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
