did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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