absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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