It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
