I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize