I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
