True but thats because hes a fetus.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
