I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
