Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
