There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
