i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
