haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
