We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
