they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
