If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
