Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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