So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
