You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
