He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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