When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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