She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
