Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize