I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
