she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
