Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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