question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That accounts for only three of the penises
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
