I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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