problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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