I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize