I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
