her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
