I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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