you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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