Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
