I'm gonna have a badass scar
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
