GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
