U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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