he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
