I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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