me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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