also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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