You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
