Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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