you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize