in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
