If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
