"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
