Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
