After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
