There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
