i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
