We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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