Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
what day is it and did you see me today?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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