Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
