WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
