I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
