I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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