if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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