I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
