Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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