I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
