My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
