my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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