I want to have your abortion
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize