my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
