That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
